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19 лет успешной работы

Архив внутренней доски объявлений, часть 2 (3)

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модераторское

Вот же ж интересно. Самые важные лично для меня посты - никто не комментирует. А как фигню какую-нибудь напишу - так пожалуйста, дискуссия.




***

Знаете, в фильмах иногда некоторые события показывают как бы в ускоренном виде. Ну например, некая пара или группа друзей переезжает в новый дом и делает там ремонт. Под бодренькую музычку показывается как герои живенько таскают коробки туда-сюда, ставят на подоконники горшки с цветами (обязательно с каким-нибудь гэгом) и раскидывают вещички по чемоданам.
А когда надо изобразить ремонт, то радостные герои, непременно в задорных банданах и рваных джинсах,  лихо красят кисточкой  стены и неумело забивают гвозди. Типовой прикол: один из участников ремонта в шутку пачкает краской нос своему соратнику. И все так быстренько. Чик-пык, и готово. Хотя ежику ясно, что переезд и ремонт крайне муторные и долгие действа где бы то ни было. А в кино и делов то секунд на 15-20.
Жаль, что в жизни все не так. Некоторые периоды моего существования мне тоже хотелось бы закрыть под веселую музыку с секундомером в руке.




задачка

Детским почерком, розовыми и голубыми мелками на асфальте во дворе соседской школы кто то написал: "Жить без любви невозможно". Интересно, сколько лет и слез понадобится, чтобы убрать из этой фразы частичку "не".




текущее

Делать вид, что не больно - называется "держать удар"?




ха ха

Weekend обломов. Сорвались ВСЕ дела, которые были запланированы.




системное решение личной жизни

Вот дык, я ж так не умею.
Звонит Застарелая Подруга (та, что Кармическая Связь) и говорит: "Я знаю, что НАМ делать". Уже после этой фразы по идее должен наступить оргазм. Во-первых, не часто такая конкретика встречается по жизни в принципе, во-вторых, со-причастность, следующая из местоимения НАМ подкупает.
"НАМ надо открыть брачное агентство", - продолжает Подруга, и замирает в предвкушение моей реакции. которой по ее представлению может быть только тотальный ахуй. Не ошибается. Я в нем. В тотальном. Через пару секунд мычу "Э-э...", что значит требую подробностей.
"Ну НАМ же надо решать вопросы" - поясняет она.
"Да-а... э-э... ну-у-у...?" - задаю я  уточняющий вопрос.
"НАМ же надо замуж"
"Да..."- с воодушевлением говорю я.
"Ну вот" - удовлетворенно, с чувством полного выяснения для себя бинома ньютона, продолжает Подруга.
Дальше следует пространная речь, о том, что НАШЕ счастье, коего МЫ кузнецы,  в наших руках, и кто если не МЫ, а быка надо за рога и не отходя от кассы.
Ну я что? Я согласна. В смысле про быка и кузнецов. Но что б вот так, по деловому ...
"Короче, ты проводи маркетинг и пиши бизнес-план" - резюмирует Подруга, и ссылаясь на важные дела, прощается.
В вышеозначенное ахуе я нажимаю отбой на мобильнике, и задумываюсь, как все-таки некоторым успешно удается оптовая стрельба по зайцам. И с личной жизнью решить вопросы, и денег заработать, и все проблемы возложить на ближнего.
Честно пройдясь по парочке сайтов брачных агентств, перезваниваю Подруге и кротко отказываюсь от почетной миссии. Не, не мое это, братцы. Подожду ка я лучше бессистемно принца на белом коне. Авось сам прискачет ко мне на девятый этаж.




по ходу 2

Вопреки существующим теориям, больше всего я ценю то, что досталось мне легко, без труда. Самая большая ценность для меня - подарки, а не заработанное потом и кровью.
Все большие (относительно) деньги и ценное имущество падали на меня всегда с неба. Тяжким трудом мне удавалось заработать лишь копейки, которые потом с легким сердцем я спускала на всякую ерунду.





continued....

Oldman (0:00:18): and i cant translate

Oldman (0:00:35): hai capito che ti voglio veramente bene?

Oldman (0:00:56): ti voglio piu di qualsirsi cosa

Polly (0:00:58): again!!!!!!

Oldman (0:01:06): cosa ?

Oldman (0:01:35): you are writng russian to me - angry russian

Polly (0:03:14): if you dont syop - i will write all in russian so you will easily deside to stop chatting with me

Oldman (0:03:29): stop what - the italian?

Polly (0:03:53): yesssssssss

Oldman (0:04:08): ok

Polly (0:04:32): but before translate please what you have wrote

Oldman (0:04:44):

Oldman (0:05:41): hai capito che ti voglio veramente bene means - have you understood that i really want you (love you, like you)

Oldman (0:06:12): ti voglio piu di qualsirsi cosa - means i want you more than anything else

Oldman (0:07:06): that s it

Polly (0:07:25): ok now its better

Oldman (0:07:51): but do you really think iwant to get rid of you?

Oldman (0:08:06): then you are silly

Oldman (0:08:29): that was not the purpose of my mail

Oldman (0:08:46): maybe i am stupid but even i have limits

Oldman (0:09:30): i told you are a dream come through

Polly (0:09:37): oh you ve just warned me

Oldman (0:09:46): warned?

Oldman (0:10:34): do you delete what you write?

Oldman (0:10:43): or do i never see it

Polly (0:10:50):  your damn letter

Oldman (0:10:59): delete it

Polly (0:11:05): ok

Oldman (0:11:18): it does not reprsent my feelings for you

Oldman (0:11:29): but ifelt that i cheated on you

Polly (0:12:37): you know i dont feel much difference between 44 & 48

Oldman (0:12:40): you think everything i have said about you is bluff?

Polly (0:12:54): no never said that

Oldman (0:13:22): you send me those pictures and i see a gorgeous woman like you

Oldman (0:13:35): i am not lacking self confindence

Oldman (0:13:42): but well ..

Oldman (0:14:23): i would be with yoiu even if you were fat and ugly just beacause

Polly (0:14:25): gorgeous

Oldman (0:14:46): you are so incredibly charming, funny and loveable

Polly (0:15:16): oh you see all those features trough internet?

Oldman (0:15:20): yes

Oldman (0:15:22): i do

Polly (0:15:50): ok you are luicky

Oldman (0:15:59): yes you are right

Oldman (0:16:40): come on these are things that one doesnt have to see

Oldman (0:17:12): i know you are like that or you are an excellent bluff

Oldman (0:17:33): but nobody caan keep that up for so long

Polly (0:17:41): oh you are toady

Oldman (0:17:41): and why should you

Oldman (0:18:08): sorry i had a really bad time

Oldman (0:18:17): writing that thing

Oldman (0:18:25): and there are no drinks here in yahoo

Oldman (0:18:43): and i could do with a few

Polly (0:18:51): yes drink would be the best thing now

Oldman (0:19:00): no

Polly (0:19:08): but i have sigarretes

Oldman (0:19:14): me too

Oldman (0:19:33): and i am smoking them

Oldman (0:19:40): a lot of them

Polly (0:19:50): but i cant smoke here near computer- i must go to the kitchen

Oldman (0:20:00): why

Oldman (0:20:14): go and smoke and come back

Oldman (0:20:33): i ahve smoked let me count

Polly (0:20:42): ok will you still be here?

Oldman (0:20:48): 9 during this conversation

Oldman (0:20:53): yes of course

Polly (0:21:00): 9!!!!!

Oldman (0:21:03): yes

Polly (0:21:11): you are lying!!

Oldman (0:21:11): i am pretty shaken up

Oldman (0:21:15): no

Oldman (0:21:21): now no 10

Polly (0:21:26): i dont believe

Oldman (0:21:37): it is true i just counted the fags

Oldman (0:21:48): it is not my normal speed

Polly (0:22:17): ok i am going out

Oldman (0:22:26): yes i wait

Oldman (0:22:36): do you need a light?

Polly (0:23:01): you are too far

Oldman (0:23:07): yes dear

Oldman (0:23:33): go and smoke please and come back asap

Polly (0:23:53): what is asap?

Oldman (0:24:09): sorry means - as soon as possible

Oldman (0:24:30): not internet lingo

Oldman (0:25:03): offical abbreviation

Polly (0:37:30): ok i am back

Oldman (0:37:42): thanks

Polly (0:37:58): you know i have one defect -i cut my hairs

Oldman (0:38:12): what right now

Polly (0:39:47): what -what? i have not long hairs any more as in photoes

Oldman (0:40:09): who cares you are still gorgeous i bet

Polly (0:40:16): by the way -you recognize me on photo where me & my friend?

Oldman (0:40:28): i believe so

Oldman (0:40:36): the redeyes

Polly (0:40:40): i believe too

Oldman (0:40:58): i mean you are not the guy with the gray hair?

Oldman (0:41:17): and not the red haired woman with the big lips

Polly (0:41:24): i dont remember- red or nor -i remember only dress

Oldman (0:41:46): no dak hair and black dress

Oldman (0:41:52): dark

Polly (0:42:09): no -yellow dress)))

Oldman (0:42:13): what

Oldman (0:42:17): wait

Oldman (0:42:26): i gotta look again

Oldman (0:44:50): so you are the red haired

 

 

Polly (0:45:02): now brown

Oldman (0:45:38): is it true the red-haired one

Polly (0:46:06): whar? you dont love me any more?

Oldman (0:46:32): but ...

Oldman (0:46:43): on the other picture

Oldman (0:46:49): the boat

Oldman (0:46:52): wait

Oldman (0:47:38): yes now i see

Oldman (0:47:50): so even worse

Oldman (0:48:18): you are the red-haired

Oldman (0:48:30): how lucky can i bee

Oldman (0:48:39): is was happy with the dark one

Polly (0:48:50): with that another woman?

Oldman (0:49:14): i thought it was the one in the boat

Polly (0:49:29): you are dissapointed...

Polly (0:50:03): "and not the red haired woman with the big lips"...

Oldman (0:50:06): no on the contrary - and now dont tell me that you are the other - one

Oldman (0:50:20): yes big is wrong full is better

Oldman (0:50:42): can i be honest

Polly (0:51:06): ok(((

Oldman (0:51:09): the read-haired is the first one notice on that picture

Oldman (0:51:15): red

Polly (0:51:23): ok lier

Oldman (0:51:33): not that is true

Oldman (0:51:47): shit i am really unlucky today

Polly (0:51:56): i have just sent you a photo that kill you if you are not dead still

Oldman (0:52:12): really

Oldman (0:52:19): on yahoo

Polly (0:52:20): yes baby

Oldman (0:52:44): the red eyes fooled me

Polly (0:53:18): oh i see it is clear for me -you dont like me

Oldman (0:53:20): you had told me about those and the dark woman has red eyes

Oldman (0:53:31): what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oldman (0:53:53): i would give my right arm to be with that woman

Oldman (0:53:58): and a leg

Polly (0:54:04): you need not cry -i am hear

Oldman (0:54:07): and other pieces if necessary

Polly (0:54:21): other pieses -precisely

Oldman (0:55:26): wait wait

Oldman (0:56:06): i am not dying from your picture i fell something else

Oldman (0:56:09): feel

Oldman (0:56:20): not exatcly dying

Polly (0:56:44): how about yor other piesec?

Oldman (0:57:02): yes that is exactly ...

Oldman (0:57:27): but in this case i wouldnt give them away

Oldman (0:57:35): as i might meed them

Oldman (0:57:37): sorry

Oldman (0:57:56): i dont mean to be like that, but

Oldman (0:58:03): it is hard no to

Oldman (0:58:38): where is that beach thing?

Polly (0:59:02): in Turkie

Oldman (0:59:13): yes when was that?

Oldman (0:59:54): 10 years ago, when you were 20

Oldman (1:00:32): Julietta - che fai?

Polly (1:01:11): when -last summer

Polly (1:01:44): опять???????

Oldman (1:02:30): sorry i had to ... you know

Oldman (1:02:57): now what russian again translate

Oldman (1:03:32): what is your real hair color

Polly (1:03:49): now?

Oldman (1:04:03): no natural

Oldman (1:04:48): thinking dont remember?

Polly (1:05:41): i am afraid of you

Oldman (1:05:47): why

Oldman (1:06:22): afraid??????

Polly (1:06:42): ok my hairs is brown naturally and now

Oldman (1:07:45): and now

Polly (1:08:16): and now -brown again

Oldman (1:08:58): why

Polly (1:09:20): what means сhe fai?

Oldman (1:09:40): means: what are you doing

Polly (1:10:18): ok stop italian!

Oldman (1:11:02): ok danish

Polly (1:11:48): i have no power now to argue..

Oldman (1:12:05): dont argue just accept

Polly (1:12:10): ok

Oldman (1:12:34): can i be really honest

Polly (1:12:45): ok

Oldman (1:13:06): i like all of you pictures

Polly (1:13:10): you are honest much more than i permit you

Oldman (1:13:20): huh?

Polly (1:14:20): but you liked that woman... aaa...

Oldman (1:14:31): ok ok

Oldman (1:14:46): let me be honest for once

Oldman (1:15:15): not for once

Oldman (1:15:28): let me be honest

Oldman (1:15:45): you here?

Polly (1:16:19): ok

Polly (1:16:32): be honest but look out

Oldman (1:17:04): i actually thought you were the dark one - because i saw the picture of you in the boat

Polly (1:17:30): i understood that fact

Oldman (1:17:57): but i actually thought that the read haired was very nice

Polly (1:18:30): who believes that?

Oldman (1:18:45): ok tell you what

Polly (1:18:57): ok

Oldman (1:19:21): the red haired is absolutely the most sexy of all the girls on the pictures wheteher she is you or not

Oldman (1:20:12): i taking a chance

Polly (1:20:23): for what?

Oldman (1:20:34): well maybe she is not you

Polly (1:20:43): maybe

Oldman (1:20:57): but she looks damn nice

Polly (1:21:34): ok well isee all woman on that picture look nice

Oldman (1:21:39): anyway as i said

Polly (1:21:44): damn that picture

Oldman (1:21:50): no

Oldman (1:22:28): is it you on the two other ones?

Oldman (1:23:19): if you are the red or the dark i like you!

Polly (1:23:28): you so funny defend yourself so i am getting a kind of pleasure to torment you

Oldman (1:23:38): understand you

Polly (1:24:16): you torment me today

Oldman (1:24:33): no youdo that to me now

Oldman (1:24:42): i have been a jerk twice

Oldman (1:25:22): so i am a little on the defensive

Polly (1:25:43): no you are not jerk - you are the best danidh man

Oldman (1:25:56): can i kiss you?

Oldman (1:26:02):

Polly (1:26:42): ok pity not personally

Polly (1:26:54): i mean kiss

Oldman (1:27:21): pity?

Oldman (1:28:03): oh i see

Polly (1:28:15): pity that you are not here & cant kiss me)) like a father

Oldman (1:28:57): yes got it - maybe not like a father

Polly (1:29:16): but what people say?

Oldman (1:29:31): damn you

Oldman (1:29:47): i dont care bout people

Polly (1:30:23): if you dont stop to say like this i ...

Oldman (1:30:38): jill me ?

Oldman (1:30:43): kill me

Polly (1:30:43): maybe i will fall in love with you

Oldman (1:30:48): thx

Oldman (1:30:54): i did that already

Oldman (1:31:02): with you though

Oldman (1:31:47): promise

Polly (1:32:02): pity that you cant call me -i miss your vioce

Oldman (1:32:11): i would love to

Oldman (1:32:17): fix that damn phone

Polly (1:32:38): wider -damn money

Oldman (1:32:49): fix that damn money

Oldman (1:33:43): or not?

Polly (1:34:03): concerning your money -not

Oldman (1:34:31): my money?

Oldman (1:34:47): no wasnt taliking about mine

Oldman (1:34:52): talking

Polly (1:34:59): yes))) what? still want separate bills?

Oldman (1:35:29): you want to pay my phone bill? orshare it?

Polly (1:35:58): no i hoped you paid mine

Oldman (1:36:23): well half and half

Oldman (1:36:54): you half of mine i half ou yours

Polly (1:37:17): half of yours????? crasy man obviosly

Oldman (1:37:23): yes

Oldman (1:37:36): bad deal

Polly (1:38:00): you agree with all what i sayd?

Polly (1:38:12): pretending to be good?

Oldman (1:38:17): huh?

Oldman (1:38:25): i am good

Polly (1:38:48): ok i know

Oldman (1:39:22): i want you so badly even if i have to share your phone bill

Polly (1:40:16): phine bills are not main things

Oldman (1:40:27): i know

Oldman (1:41:24): the main thing is you

Polly (1:41:33): but i never forget you "and not the red haired woman with the big lips"...

Oldman (1:42:01): i like you most on that picture

Oldman (1:42:09): i just love big lips

Polly (1:42:25): say it just now

Oldman (1:43:03): but if you were the other one as i thought

Oldman (1:43:59): i told you i dont care how you look

Polly (1:44:03): i have to smoke again

Oldman (1:44:14): yes

Oldman (1:44:25): come back please

Polly (1:44:36): well see...

Oldman (1:44:43): ok iwait

Oldman (1:57:10): Julietta

Polly (1:57:40): here

Oldman (1:57:50): so silent?

Polly (1:58:35): i was thinking about what people say of young woman with baby and from poor russia...

Oldman (1:58:46): ha

Oldman (1:58:55): i dont care about that at all

Polly (1:59:08): but you wright it to me

Oldman (1:59:16): bot that

Oldman (1:59:20): not that

Oldman (1:59:32): i was thinking of you not me

Polly (2:00:16): and i am thinking of me too...

Polly (2:00:24): dont worry

Polly (2:00:31): its ok

Oldman (2:00:38): is it?

Polly (2:01:17): yes

Oldman (2:01:31):

Polly (2:01:38): are yo tired to sitting here and waiting me?

Oldman (2:01:42): no

Polly (2:01:53): ok i am glad

Oldman (2:01:56): i can wait

Oldman (2:02:09): as long as you want

Polly (2:02:28): nice

Oldman (2:02:55): you are nice - terribly nice

Oldman (2:03:42): nicer than anything i have met

Polly (2:03:53): terribly- are you sorry?

Oldman (2:04:12): no terribly doesnt mean that

Oldman (2:04:29): it means a whole,whole lot

Polly (2:04:59): more more

Oldman (2:05:01): look it up

Oldman (2:05:26): god i havent felt like this for a long, long time]

Oldman (2:05:35): you just make me feel good

Oldman (2:05:54): and i just cant

Polly (2:05:58):

Oldman (2:06:06): imagine something better than meeting you

Polly (2:06:09): i feel really good too

Polly (2:06:24): till today evening

Oldman (2:06:31): i am so damn sorry for that thing

Polly (2:06:34): ok sorry

Polly (2:06:41): never mention it

Oldman (2:06:46): ok

Oldman (2:06:48): wont

Oldman (2:07:02): it was not fun for me

Oldman (2:07:05): at all

Oldman (2:07:08): basta

Polly (2:07:12): ok

Polly (2:08:00): i started to like torment you feel fine

Oldman (2:08:14): i damn deserve it

Polly (2:09:16): but you show me your soul

Polly (2:09:21): it was great

Oldman (2:09:31):

Polly (2:09:35): ni kidding

Polly (2:09:41): ni=no

Oldman (2:09:45): yes yes

Polly (2:09:48): i am serious

Oldman (2:10:17): so am i

Polly (2:10:34): i have doubts about any other man why did it like you

Oldman (2:10:34): my soul pls explain a little more

Polly (2:11:32): i saw that you are very well-bred and kind man

Oldman (2:11:54): you make me embarassed now

Polly (2:12:45): no -i saw youк letter in this way (now)

Oldman (2:13:08): it was meant that way - honestly - not to reject you

Oldman (2:14:57): what reason would i have

Polly (2:15:16): well dont speak about it agai -otherwise i feel some hurts once more

Oldman (2:15:39): but tell me why would i do that doesnt make sense

Polly (2:16:31): i remember my feeling when i started to read

Polly (2:16:37): it was awful

Oldman (2:16:44): what did you think

Polly (2:17:02): and after 3 times i tried to read till the end

Polly (2:17:24): dont do it again with me

Polly (2:18:20): if you want to send me letter like this with happy end -start pls with words of happy end and then you can explane why you write me

Oldman (2:18:34): but isaid it was my fault - i said i liked you - i said you were gorgeous

Oldman (2:19:45): i never wrote anything that was not positive about you

Polly (2:20:06): idea was not positive to me

Oldman (2:20:22): i understand

Polly (2:20:29): ok

Oldman (2:20:42): it was not meant that way

Oldman (2:20:44): basta

Oldman (2:20:47): fimale

Oldman (2:20:50): finale

Polly (2:20:56): well you reaaly made me crasy)

Polly (2:21:18): why i am crasy for you?

Oldman (2:21:23): thx you are really exceptional

Polly (2:21:25): бред

Oldman (2:21:34): huh/

Oldman (2:22:04): what was that

Polly (2:22:09): oh you cant call me -otherwise you did it many times right?

Polly (2:22:31): бред=delirium

Oldman (2:22:32): i haven;t tried

Oldman (2:22:40): oh yes

Oldman (2:23:10): does your phone work

Oldman (2:23:28): the mobile number is temporarily blocked

Polly (2:23:32): no - i told you - why are slowly here?

Oldman (2:23:32): she syas

Oldman (2:23:39): says

Polly (2:23:44): oh yo г phone me! crasy

Oldman (2:23:49): well i never tried

Oldman (2:24:11): maybe it was not true

Polly (2:24:34): lier

Polly (2:24:42): BIG lier

Oldman (2:24:48): big lier

Oldman (2:24:53): what now

Oldman (2:25:06): i have two left

Polly (2:25:08): no- now nothing

Oldman (2:25:23): the lier was before?

Polly (2:26:11): one sec

Oldman (2:26:27): yes

Polly (2:27:00): lokk i have to go

Oldman (2:27:09): no

Oldman (2:27:30): why

Polly (2:27:39): i mix words & letters

Polly (2:27:57): deep nite

Oldman (2:28:18): yes

Polly (2:28:19): & tomorrow i have to wake up alive

Oldman (2:28:25): 2.30 or 3.30

Polly (2:28:26): bye

Polly (2:28:29): see you

Polly (2:28:33): 2-30









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